Goodbyes: Round 4

Traveling provides the opportunity to meet and get to know tons of fascinating people.  Sometimes you meet someone briefly and you end up sharing a drink, a bus ride, or some laughs in a rowboat.  Sometimes you end up placed with someone in a more permanent setting, like at a job, and you get the chance to make a great friend.  Unfortunately, the nature of traveling requires that, for each new person you meet, you have to say just as many goodbyes.

I’m getting ready to say another set of goodbyes.  The three months of homeschooling that I came to help with are ending this week.  Before I moved back down here in February, I’d decided not to make any new friends.  I knew that the time would fly by, and I didn’t particularly want to make and then leave yet another group of friends.  It's wearing. As it turned out, though, there were too many wonderful people for me to resist the temptation to get to know them.  Most people who know me well can attest that I’ve never been good at denying the opportunity to stay up late and chat with people I enjoy. J

Happily, it looks like I will be back at Abundant Life teaching Nursery again this upcoming school year, and several friends (old and new) will be back in Gracias with me.  I’m super excited to spend another year working with these wonderful people of this beautiful culture, and I'm so happy to go into it with the love and support of old friends, as well as anticipation for the new relationships I will build.  While my last few days with these new friends will be bittersweet, and I will probably cry like a baby at least once or twice, I am looking forward to the year ahead.

And if you're reading this and I will not get to be with you in Gracias next year, you'd better write an all-nighter with me into your summer schedule.

Honduras - Round 3

If we are facebook friends, then you've likely already heard the news: I'm heading back to Gracias on Monday!  I'm moving in with a missionary family there to homeschool their kids, and I'm super excited to get started with my job, build new relationships, see old friends, and eat tons of baleadas.

I left Honduras last June thinking that it would be my last time living there.  I knew that leaving would be a really difficult thing, but I had no clue how challenging it would be.  I had new and exciting things to focus on, and I was eager to "settle down" a bit back in the US.  I didn't anticipate that I'd feel far more lonely and out of place in my home country than I had in a totally foreign one, nor did I realize how overwhelming the adjustment to teaching in the US would be.  I didn't expect the emotional and physical consequences of these things, or how much it could affect my daily functions.  Most of all, I did not anticipate that, six months after returning home, my heart would still be aching as badly for the people and culture that I'd left as it was when I got on the plane to leave Honduras for what I'd thought was the last time.

When the opportunity to move back to Gracias came up at the time that it did, I couldn't quite believe it.  For months, I'd been praying that God would help me serve to the best of my ability; I just hadn't anticipated that my request might take me out of the situation I was in and lead me to an entirely different one.  The thought of moving back to the place that I missed so much made me almost giddy -- I smiled every time I thought about it.  I had to pursue it.  Five days later, plans were set for me to return to Gracias.

I'll do my best to keep everybody updated here, although we all know that I am an unreliable blogger (unless I have some type of sexy story involving tour guides named Rafael).  Please keep sending those prayers and good vibes my way!

Ya

Quite a bit has happened since the last time that I wrote.  My student whose father was murdered never returned to school.  They had to flee town because the grudge turned into a family vendetta (Ol' West style), and several of their family members were murdered.  Things have finally calmed down, though, and the family was able to return to town a couple of weeks ago.  The kids will be back at the school in August.  My plans have changed, as well.  My principal told me just over a month ago that he had been talking with parents about the following school year, and there was very little interest in the Nursery class (the class size has been shrinking each year since it started).  He offered me the K4 position, but I really didn't want to start over with a new grade level and curriculum expectations again.  I had been hoping for two years of consistent experience here before moving back to the States to start over new, but I guess that's just not how things were supposed to happen.  I contacted the Synodical Placement Office as soon as I realized that I wouldn't be coming back, had several interviews with a few different schools, and was extended a call by one of those schools within a month of my realizing I even had to look for another job.

While it's wonderful to know what I'll be doing next year, I have really mixed emotions about leaving.  I'm thrilled to be close enough again to family and friends that I could hop in my car in the morning and see people by lunch time, and I'm grateful to be present for and more active in things like weddings, new babies, and just life in general.  I'm especially excited to start my new preschool teaching position and get settled into life in another new city.  All of this excitement, though, does not change the sadness of leaving this place.  Honduras has been my life for the past year and a half.  It has been really challenging and frustrating at times and hasn't always been pleasant, but I have appreciated every moment of it.  I've become very attached to the culture, the places I've lived, and the people I've gotten to know -- especially my students.  I've had a knot in my chest almost every day this past week as I stand and wave to my kids while their bus pulls away.  It's so hard to believe that I only have a few more chances to see them and that, next year, someone else will be tying their shoes, answering their questions, giving them hugs, and showing them that they're loved and cared for.

I'll be moving back the US a different person from the fresh college graduate that I was in December 2011.  I'm still me -- just as awkward, clumsy, and in love with midnight IHOP runs as ever -- but I understand and interpret life differently than before.  I view culture, politics, religion, and humanity through a different set of eyes: one that has taken in life outside of the cozy Chicago suburbs.  My faith has been challenged more than ever, and I have a new appreciation for the various lessons that I had been resistant to learning before.  When I go home I'll be leaving a piece of my heart here, but I'll do so with the confidence that it will scar over: healed but permanently changed.

My thoughts and prayers will always be with my kids.  To those of you who have been sending prayers and good vibes my way from the start, I ask that you continue doing so for my students.  Thank you for supporting me for the past year and a half, and I look forward to reconnecting with you back in the States.

Love,

Kim