Something Old, Something New

Figuring out how to begin this post is proving difficult because I'm having a hard time figuring out how to explain what exactly the beginning of this year was like.  I just finished the first quarter of my third school year in Honduras -- my second working at the school in Gracias -- and it's been wave after wave of different emotions.  There are the beginning-of-the-year nerves when you're just meeting your new coworkers and students, and you're trying to figure out how to live and work with all of these new personalities.  At the same time, there's mourning over the people and familiar comforts of the previous year here.  That is followed by the excitement of the honeymoon phase where you've decided that everything is wonderful and it will be a splendid year.  Then there's a bit more mourning because feelings.  Finally, you settle into your current situation a bit and feel content.  This is right around when DEVOLSON hits.  The newness is gone, you're no longer feeling refreshed from summer break, your to-do list is growing, and things like final grades and parent-teacher conferences are looming in the not-so-distant future.  Now, a week after parent-teacher conferences, I finally feel like I have a somewhat accurate impression of this year.

Year one in Gracias was exactly what I needed after the blow of the previous school year.  I had a small, wonderful group of students, most of whom were fairly quiet and calm (with a couple of stinkers to keep things fun).  By chance, I ended up with the best roommate I could have asked for.  All of the American teachers bonded, and we provided a strong community of support for each other.  This year is different.  While I once again have a wonderful group of students whom I love, my kiddos are helping me sharpen my management skills quite a bit more than my first class.  Despite that challenge, I feel much more comfortable in my work.  I know the curriculum, I have accumulated a lot of supplementary resources, and I'm generally much happier with the way my classroom works.  Life outside of my job is also drastically different.  I haven't gelled the same way with anyone nor felt part of a strong community the way I did before, so I've dealt more with loneliness.  However, the fact that I don't immediately hop on over to someone else's house when my roommates are busy also has helped me slowly become more and more comfortable with functioning on my own.  That's something I was not ready for when I first moved to Honduras almost three years ago, but the sum of my experiences since then has made this an adjustment that I feel good about.  This change is also causing me to realize that I need to lean more on the One who brought me here in the first place.

Ultimately, this year seems to be one full of opportunities for growth -- personal, professional, and spiritual.  My unceasing hope for the year is that I use the wisdom to seize those opportunities rather than using all my energy to mourn what this year is not.

A Short List of Embarrassing Things That Happened Before High School

This has nothing to do with travel or teaching, but I just needed to think of some things to make myself laugh tonight.  Enjoy.

·         In kindergarten, I stole a fistful of coins from my dad while he was sleeping.  I spent that whole school day reveling in the thrill of rebellion.  When my dad came to pick me up from school, he saw me playing with some of the coins.  He asked where I’d gotten them, and I panicked.  I made up a lie that I’d sold some of my crayons to my best friend.  He said that it wasn’t a fair trade, and I’d have to give the money back.  He made me get out of the car, and we walked over to my teacher to explain what had happened.  The teacher called over my best friend and her mom and told my friend that we’d have to trade back.  I burst into tears the second I saw my friend’s confused face, and I had to tell my dad, my teacher, my best friend, and her mom that I had not only lied, but had also stolen.

·         Another time in kindergarten, I rolled over my own face with a floor scooter that I was sitting on during gym class.

·         For whatever reason, I never had to go to the bathroom during the scheduled bathroom breaks in 1^st Grade, so I would always end up asking to go in the middle of class.  My teacher got tired of it and handed me 6 popsicle sticks one morning.  She said that, each time I went to the bathroom, I would have to turn in a popsicle stick.  If I ran out, I couldn’t go again that day.  I was a painfully shy child, and I hated drawing attention to myself.  My desk never seemed squeakier than the times that I had to open it to pull out a popsicle stick, and when I carried the stick to my teacher’s desk, I felt like I was wielding some sort of glowing beacon.  My pee schedule lined up with class bathroom breaks within a week.

·         I had to miss recess once in 3^rd Grade because my classmate screamed in response to my telling a slightly dirty joke during bathroom break.

·         In 5^th Grade, a teacher walked into the bathroom just as I was ninja kicking a stall door.  She stared at me for a second, totally unsure how to respond, and then continued into another stall without saying anything.

·         When I was about 10 years old, my hormones went nuts, and I started to pit out like an overweight, middle-aged man "Sweatin’ to the Oldies" with Richard Simmons.  My participation grade dropped because I was too self-conscious to raise my hand.  I also had to pin two layers of sweat shields into my shirts each morning.

·         One of my friends informed me in 6^th Grade that my fly was down.  I was convinced that it would be more obvious for me to zip my pants in the middle of the classroom than it would be for me to have an open fly, so I continued walking around with my fly down.

·         At some point in Jr. High, one of my best friends and I were chosen to play hand chimes along with a song we were singing in choir.  The choir director put us next to each other.  When it was time for us to play the song for church, my friend accidentally started to play early.  I laughed so uncontrollably that, not only was I unable to play my chime at all, but then I peed under my choir robe.

Goodbyes: Round 4

Traveling provides the opportunity to meet and get to know tons of fascinating people.  Sometimes you meet someone briefly and you end up sharing a drink, a bus ride, or some laughs in a rowboat.  Sometimes you end up placed with someone in a more permanent setting, like at a job, and you get the chance to make a great friend.  Unfortunately, the nature of traveling requires that, for each new person you meet, you have to say just as many goodbyes.

I’m getting ready to say another set of goodbyes.  The three months of homeschooling that I came to help with are ending this week.  Before I moved back down here in February, I’d decided not to make any new friends.  I knew that the time would fly by, and I didn’t particularly want to make and then leave yet another group of friends.  It's wearing. As it turned out, though, there were too many wonderful people for me to resist the temptation to get to know them.  Most people who know me well can attest that I’ve never been good at denying the opportunity to stay up late and chat with people I enjoy. J

Happily, it looks like I will be back at Abundant Life teaching Nursery again this upcoming school year, and several friends (old and new) will be back in Gracias with me.  I’m super excited to spend another year working with these wonderful people of this beautiful culture, and I'm so happy to go into it with the love and support of old friends, as well as anticipation for the new relationships I will build.  While my last few days with these new friends will be bittersweet, and I will probably cry like a baby at least once or twice, I am looking forward to the year ahead.

And if you're reading this and I will not get to be with you in Gracias next year, you'd better write an all-nighter with me into your summer schedule.

Honduras - Round 3

If we are facebook friends, then you've likely already heard the news: I'm heading back to Gracias on Monday!  I'm moving in with a missionary family there to homeschool their kids, and I'm super excited to get started with my job, build new relationships, see old friends, and eat tons of baleadas.

I left Honduras last June thinking that it would be my last time living there.  I knew that leaving would be a really difficult thing, but I had no clue how challenging it would be.  I had new and exciting things to focus on, and I was eager to "settle down" a bit back in the US.  I didn't anticipate that I'd feel far more lonely and out of place in my home country than I had in a totally foreign one, nor did I realize how overwhelming the adjustment to teaching in the US would be.  I didn't expect the emotional and physical consequences of these things, or how much it could affect my daily functions.  Most of all, I did not anticipate that, six months after returning home, my heart would still be aching as badly for the people and culture that I'd left as it was when I got on the plane to leave Honduras for what I'd thought was the last time.

When the opportunity to move back to Gracias came up at the time that it did, I couldn't quite believe it.  For months, I'd been praying that God would help me serve to the best of my ability; I just hadn't anticipated that my request might take me out of the situation I was in and lead me to an entirely different one.  The thought of moving back to the place that I missed so much made me almost giddy -- I smiled every time I thought about it.  I had to pursue it.  Five days later, plans were set for me to return to Gracias.

I'll do my best to keep everybody updated here, although we all know that I am an unreliable blogger (unless I have some type of sexy story involving tour guides named Rafael).  Please keep sending those prayers and good vibes my way!