I've been living in Choluteca for just over a month now, and it's been quite a bit different from what I'd expected. My class has 29 of the most talkative, energetic 5th graders that I've ever met -- quite a bit different from my class of 1 in Catacamas. I'm not sure how to deal with this. When I was student teaching, my kindergarteners were really antsy and mischevious, and I initially had a hard time with classroom management. After several weeks, though, I figured out how to manage the behavior better and teach successfully. It's been over a month here, and I still haven't figured out what I need to do differently. I know that this is an exceptionally rough group of kids; the teachers that they had for 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grade have all talked with me about how exceptionally challenging they are to work with and have told me stories about some of the weird little mischevious things they did in their classes. They, too, said that they sometimes felt like they couldn't teach because they were trying to get them quiet the whole time. I've watched the class as their other teachers work with them (like Spanish, Art, Music, and PE), and they really do give all of the teachers a hard time. One of the other teachers, though, has some sort of handle on it. She can at least get the room quiet enough to teach her lessons. I have class periods where, because of my continual stopping to quiet them down, it takes so long to just get through the previous day's homework that I barely begin my lesson, and I have to push the rest of it back to the next day. I've tried mirroring that teachers' methods, but it doesn't work for me. I follow the school's discipline system; I write their name on the board and give them checks each time they do something they shouldn't. When they get 3 checks, I send them to the office to get demerits. They don't care, though. They care when they've accumulated enough demerits that they get a note sent to their parents, but it doesn't have much of an immediate effect for most of them. I feel bad for feeling this, but sometimes it's nice to just get the most distracting students out of the room for 10 minutes so I can teach the ones who want to listen. I've tried the methods that they taught us in college: clapping and having the students respond with claps, counting down, standing quietly and waiting, writing names on the board without stopping my lesson, using a reward system. None of it has worked. I've found myself resorting to exactly what I was taught not to do and just shouting to get their attention. This is stupid, though, because it doesn't work any better than anything else. It's all just very frustrating, and I'm not sure what to do.
I had parent-teacher conferences today, and they went pretty well. I had a translator for most of the time, but I did have to talk to a couple of the parents without any help. One problem, though, was that the parents that I wanted to talk to the most were the ones who didn't come. It was mostly the ones whose children get fantastic grades and listen well in class. Who doesn't want to go to school and hear from the teacher that their child is wonderful? Still, the experience was really positive. Because of my mounting frustration with classroom management, I've really just started to pray for the end of the year to come quickly so I can have some peace. I teach my lessons (when I can), go through the homework, give tests, and move on. Basically, I've been turning into exactly the type of teacher that I've never wanted to be. I've been really self-focused. I think about how crappy I feel after a particularly bad day at school, and I haven't been stopping to reflect on how all of this effects my students -- not just the quiet and attentive ones, but all of them. Talking with the parents today, two of them in particular, was really a slap in my self-centered face. Having their teacher leave them so unexpectedly 3/4 of the way through the year was really stressful for them. Not only do they miss her, but they have a brand new set of expectations and a new teaching style to get used to. Two of the students apparently have a hard time understanding my English -- I'd only realized that one did. One usually understood the old teacher, but frequently doesn't understand me because I talk faster and without an accent. I hadn't realize that she had trouble understanding me. The other used to acutally get Spanish support from the teacher -- something that I can't really do. Most of the class has been receiving lower grades as they make this adjustment, and one mom shared with me that her son is really stressed out about it. From their behavior and attitude in class, I'd thought they just didn't care. My attitude and actions seriously affect my students, and I need to turn my focus to what is best for them. I'm not here to give homework and tests until the end of the year; I'm here to teach.
Please keep my class in your prayers.
Still praying. :S
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