As anticipated, I have done a poor job keeping up this blog. I finished my first year (rather, first two 1/4 years) just over a month ago, so I've been back in the States since late June. I knew that I should really write a blog with my concluding thoughts for the year, but I've had no idea what to say about it because, honestly, I'm still unsure how to interpret everything that happened. The problems that I talked about in my previous posts never got resolved. If anything, they just got worse as the end of the school year neared. Making it to the end of the year was a fight that left me totally worn out. I had hoped that giving myself this month and a half break to relax from it all and just think would be enough for me to draw some insightful conclusion about it, but it wasn't. All I can say is that it's done. My students and I made it out alive. They are ready for 6th grade -- academically, at least.
I don't want reassurance or sympathy. I also don't want to bullshit some deep, insightful conclusion to it all. I'm not bitter or angry, nor am I doubting my abilities as an early childhood educator. What happened happened. I've grown from it. I'm tougher for having done it. I'm also thankful that it's over and that I will never teach 5th grade again.
I hope that I left some sort of postive impact on my students. I really hope that I didn't make anything worse. I doubt that I will ever know either way since I'm not moving back to that town and will probably never actually see any of my students again. That said, I do love my students, and I will never forget them. I wouldn't trade the last 6 months for anything. I'm looking forward to moving to a new town and working with 3-year-olds again. I will continue to write throughout this school year -- hopefully more consistently than I did last year. Thank you for sticking with me and this whole blogging thing.
<3
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